Does Healing Mean Forgiving? – The Forgiveness Process

Many clients come to me because they want to heal from pain caused by a relationship. It is important to know, healing does not necessarily mean that we forgive the person who hurt us. Healing can begin with personal reflection. 

Partnering with an understanding and trained therapist, we start by recognizing the source of your distress. Were you: 

A six-year-old who was bullied on the school bus? 

A young woman who was told by a job prospect that if she “lost those last 10 pounds” she might qualify for the position?

An adult betrayed by a spouse who had an affair?

A victim of a sexual assault?

Together we listen to the stories of your past and determine how that pain affects you today. 

Do you now tell yourself:

I deserved to be bullied, there is obviously something wrong with me;

I am so ugly, my body is disgusting, I will never be wanted;

I’m not good enough, that’s why my partner must have had the affair;

It was my fault I was assaulted. I shouldn’t have been there that night. I should have known better.

True forgiveness can take weeks, months, even years, but is possible. In order for healing to begin, In the very best of situations, the person who caused the pain will be:

1. Open to hearing from you.
2. Willing to work through the steps of forgiveness.
3. An understanding partner in the process until you can achieve some level of healing.

Learn more about the STEPS OF FORGIVENESS and contact Willamette Wellness Center anytime to partner with one of our trained therapists on your personal wellness journey.

Be well,

Some concepts are adopted from “Communicating Forgiveness” by Waldron & Kelley, 2008.

Connect with a trained mental health therapist from Willamette Wellness Center by filling out a NEW CLIENT FORM

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