It’s Time for Guilt to Take a Break

Feeling guilty about needing or wanting rest? This topic often comes up in therapy sessions. Many feel they need to be in motion all the time (cleaning, working, exercising) or producing something like straight A’s, spots on athletic teams or promotions at work. And, when not in motion, or accomplishing something, internal thoughts can sound a lot like – I am worthless, no good, stupid, lazy, etc. 

In families where praise is only given for production and results, people naturally learn to equate their worth with how busy they are. This can cause emotional and physical duress. Even if we can sense we are pushing ourselves too hard, we still feel unable to stop or rest.

But, you are in charge of your narrative. Just imagine if you directed your current internal dialog toward a child. Would you ever insist that they need to accomplish something at all times? Or would you explain that balance is necessary? Taking a nap or meditating allows the brain and body to repair and recharge – ultimately preparing ourselves for our next adventure. 

This begs the question, why is it ok to talk to ourselves negatively? When you tell yourself you are lazy, stupid or worthless for resting, does it sound loving, kind or helpful? The answer is probably no. Does this inner voice sound like a parent or other authority figure? Can you see a face associated with this voice? This inner critic is most likely an echo of someone in your life who has said these things to you. 

Who is the source of your inner voice?

• Identify where this narrative comes from.
• Would you allow a child or loved one to be treated the way you talk to yourself? 
• Challenge why you were allowed to be treated this way. 
• And most importantly, do you want this inner critic to continue to live inside your head, rent free?

Imagine your child self for a moment. Now imagine kneeling in front of your child-self and saying some version of  I won’t allow you to be hurt because you need to rest. Resting is being kind and good to yourself. Now, replay this visual every time you hear your inner critic. 

This is how we create new, healthy narratives. YOU have the power to become the loving parental voice that you longed to hear growing up. If you need help finding that voice, we can help. Let’s get started today.

Be Well,