Therapy: How to Get From Start to Finish

Have you ever thought to yourself, “When will this healing journey be over already?“

When you are physically hurt, it’s normal to want to stop the pain. The same is true for emotional suffering; some feelings are simply intolerable, and we desperately want to hit the fast forward button to fix how we feel.

This can be especially true while in therapy. Connecting with the right counselor and starting the work can be exhilarating, but the process is rarely linear or quick. It can feel really frustrating, and you may begin saying the following things to your therapist:

• I want you to tell me how to get to the end of therapy!
• I feel like you know certain steps I should take to figure this out, but you aren’t telling me.
• Am I going to feel like this forever?! Is there an end?
• Well it’s great that I’m figuring this out, but what do we do now?

The frustration is real and we get it. Despite how it may seem in the moment, we aren’t playing a game, hiding the answers from you or letting you suffer unnecessarily. This is your journey and although we are a guide, unfortunately we do not have a magic wand to wave to make the end destination appear.

But, when these feelings arise, it can help to hear things like:

• I notice there seems to be a part of you that wants me to solve this for you right now, are you noticing this as well?
• Have you ever felt this way before?
• Have there been other instances when you felt you needed someone else to show you what to do?”
• What is preventing you from believing your intuition?

Beyond wanting to live your best life ASAP, sometimes these questions can help us better understand why you want your actions to be directed. Growing up we may have experienced life events that “proved” to us that we needed to follow the rules, get from A to B quickly, and try to be perfect such as:

• Being taught organized religion which often means there are strict rules to follow and adhered to, or else.
• You may be used to a loved one telling you what to do; not following these directions could result in punishment.
• In school we learned that if we didn’t complete tasks correctly we would be ridiculed in front of peers.

Slowing down and trusting ourselves is not always something our society teaches us to do.

• The unknown and listening to your gut can be scary! 
• We live in a culture that prioritizes movement and speed.

Following the rules is comfortable, and for some of us it was a way to survive. Not having movement can feel like agony.  So, it’s completely understandable why you wouldn’t want to spend time slowing down, looking inside, and listening.

Working with a trained therapist can help you identify inner fears and desires. Determining their origin means we can start to heal and stop our desire to move away from those feelings so quickly. You can learn to pause, notice and accept your emotions, letting them guide you to living your best life – on your own terms.

Be well,